There was a report in yesterday's papers about some remarks made by the Prince of Wales in sympathy with divorced fathers campaigning for greater access to their children. And today a conference is taking place in Edinburgh to discuss ways in which more positive father child relationships can be supported. I vividly remember the morning a few months ago when I got stuck in a jam on my way to do Thought for the Day and discovered that what had brought traffic to a standstill was a divorced dad dressed as Father Christmas, protesting what he saw as the injustice done to him over custody rights. And I must say I was sympathetic to his cause - because children need the chance to develop a relationship with both their natural parents. After all, no child ever asked to be born. That was a responsibility two people took in bringing him or her into being; and neither in any ordinary circumstances should be denied the exercise of parenthood.

The trouble is, of course, that divorce at present is all too common and often very acrimonious. Each side seeks a legal victory over the other, and whoever wins, it's often the children that lose.

Fatherhood itself has become problematic in our culture. I first realised how bad things had become back in the 1980s. I'd been giving a talk about family life to a group of Jews and Christians in the north of England, and a local vicar came up to me afterwards and said, "I've spent my whole life teaching children about 'G-d the father,' but I can't do it any more. They don't understand what I'm talking about. And the word they don't understand isn't 'G-d' but 'father.'"

It's actually fatherhood that makes humanity different from most primate species. Usually it's the females who look after the young, while a few weeks after birth many males don't even recognise their own children. Motherhood is biological and almost always strong. Fatherhood is cultural and almost always in need of support. In fact I suspect that's why the Bible so often speaks of G-d as a father - not because G-d is male, nor in order to create a patriarchal society, but simply to moralise and dignify paternal responsibility. Like a good father G-d cares about his children. He protects them, listens to their hopes and fears, and when they turn to Him, He's there.

Which is why we need to support both parents, even when they split apart. Children need time with both; and it's their needs that really count.

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