A story creating debate in America this week is the revelation that Colin Powell decided not to run for election as President because his wife threatened to leave him if he did. She said: "If you run, I'm gone." That was back in 1995, when polls showed that he would have won the Republican nomination and defeated Bill Clinton in the Presidential race. At the time, all he said in public was that he decided not to run because he lacked the passion and commitment. When he said those words, his wife Alma beamed. Now we know he did it for her.

What a choice to make! Public life or private life? It's one of those ultimately personal decisions for which there are no rules. People in public life are under relentless scrutiny from the media. They have to be prepared for criticism, fair and unfair alike. In some cases there are physical dangers. Mrs Powell believed that as the first black to be elected president, her husband would be at risk of assassination. And of course it's not only those in the limelight who have to pay the price. Sometimes it's harder on their families than on them. So I admire husbands and wives who make sacrifices for their spouses' career. But I respect no less, those make sacrifices in their career for the sake of their wives or husbands.

And there's a detail in Judaism that could almost be a commentary on Colin Powell's decision. In a week's time we'll be celebrating Hanukkah, the Jewish festival of lights. Hanukkah commemorates one of the greatest victories in Jewish history, when, over 2000 years ago, a small group of Jews overcame the Syrian army of the Alexandrian empire and won back their religious freedom. Remembering that time, we light candles for eight days.

But what do you do, asked the rabbis, if you find yourself on Friday afternoon with only one candle? Do you light it for Hanukkah or for the Sabbath, which also begins with lighting candles? Their answer was simple. You use it as a Sabbath light, not a Hanukkah one. The reason they gave was that the Sabbath candle symbolises shalom bayit, peace in the home. And peace in the home - between husband and wife, parents and children - takes precedence over even the greatest victory in war.

So I salute Colin Powell, who valued marriage more than ambition, his wife more than his career, reminding us that the private light of family burns no less brightly than the public light of fame.

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